First Father’s Day Without Dad

Dear Vic,

Yesterday was Father’s Day - Kenzo first one without you.
And in the days leading up to it, he carried a quiet storm of emotions. At home, he’d often say, “This Father’s Day, I don’t have a father.” I held him close each time and whispered, “It’s Dad’s first Father’s Day in heaven too. I’m sure he misses you so much, but I’m here for you, baby, and I’ll never leave you.”

Last week, he joined the Father’s Day card-making activity in class. I wasn’t sure he would, but he surprised me.

 On the card, he wrote:

“You can stay with us while you’re watching from above, or stay in heaven.”

His words broke my heart and touched it all at once - a message only a child’s heart could write, full of longing and love.

Kenzo asked to spend the weekend at your house.
He didn’t step into your room, or his old one upstairs.
Instead, he curled up on the couch, pulling a soft blanket over himself, like he was cocooning in comfort. Later, he played with the marble run - the one you had set up with him not so long ago. Just outside your door. Just within reach of memory.

That was his way of being close.
Of visiting the pieces of you that still remain.

And maybe - just maybe - in that quiet space between play and stillness,
you were there with us too.

With love always,
— N

 

 

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